Kay and Audrey

The Post-PhD Life

2010-09-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

Okay so catching up since April. Revise dissertation X 43 days. Start packing house X 7 days. Travel to San Antonio for SLEEP meetings X 5 days. Finish packing X 7 days. Drive cross-country X 10 days (including stops with good friends and family). See parents and celebrate Audrey's 2nd birthday X 2 days. Unpack X 1 day. Start postodc.

But really since then, things have been pretty calm. There have been the usual hassles associated with relocating to a new city (I don't know where I am going AND there are no street signs! Car insurance costs WHAT? Ah, the DMV...) but it has also been fun exploring - there are plenty of parks, lakes, beaches, carousels etc. within an hour's drive from Providence. The newest attraction is "pick your own apples" which we may try in the next few weeks...

Providence residents (Providenizens?) are very nice, we've met quite a few folks, especially since our local "pocket park" is a magnet for everyone within a 10-block radius who has a 2-year-old. Work is good (actually accomplishing small, discrete goals! What a concept!) and Paul is making inroads in the art community - look for benches designed and partially built by him to be installed on Hope Street, maybe next month.

The post-dissertation-defense entry

2010-04-12T10:31:00.000-07:00

So I have not written since December, but here's my excuse - I was writing my dissertation draft. Now that I have defended, and passed, and been told by my committe that "draft" was probably a generous description of my dissertation, and started my revisions, I'm taking a moment out to update whoever is reading about Audrey.

She is now about 21 1/2 months old (her second birthday is coming up in June) and while she is still sometimes hard to understand, she does use a lot more words. She still can't pronounce some letters, though, which leads to very cute mis-pronounciations. She calls Paul's flip-flops "bap-baps." Nana Mary gave her a stuffed elephant that we often use as a pillow when she's getting her diaper changed, and "elephant" comes out sounding more like "elli-floo." Her favorite stuffed animals are "Ow" and "Bear" (Owl and Bear). A blanket is "ban-keh," and horse (either the animal or the bouncing on the leg game) is "or-see." One of my favorites is "Got-chew" - When Paul would chase her or pick her up I used to say "Daddy got you!" and now she'll run away and say "Got-chew! More Daddy got-chew!"

On the other hand, some words are very clear. Mom, Mommy, Mama. Daddy, Dad. Audrey. Her favorite thing - dance! Even complex words like "pretzel" she can practically do, especially if the pretzel in question is chocolate-covered. (Pretzel! More!).

Other than talking, she's busy playing at day care, and hanging out once a week with Grammie and Grampie and one of her new favorite people, Paul's brother Patrick (Pat-tri). She's also a daredevil, insisting on climbing ladders at the park that look way too big for her, but somehow she manages to get her little feet from rung to rung (see picture), whith a certain amount of parental hovering, of course.

She's definitely in the "Audrey can do it" stage with everything from putting on her pants to brushing her teeth (although we have taught her that while Audrey gets a turn to brush her teeth, so does Mom, so she'll come up to me after she finishes brushing and say "Mommy turn." And she definitely knows what she wants, whether it's for us to dance with her (Mommy, dance! Daddy, dance! Nana, Poppa, dance!) or to buy some ice-cream from the ice-cream truck at the park (Mommy, ice?), or to not take a nap (No, no, no, down!). More fun to come, I am sure, and hopefully it'll be a bit better documented on this site in the future!

White Elephant 2009

2009-12-20T20:32:00.000-08:00

So tonight we had the annual Grad Group White Elephant gift exchange. It's always one of my favorite holiday things but this year it was especially bittersweet because Ben, Gretchen and Lily are leaving us, getting in the car in just a few days to drive to New York, and a new pastor post for Ben. There were lots of hugs and "Merry Christmases" at the end of our meeting, and even a hug from Lily to Holly that turned into a tackle, sending Holly falling (almost) into a couple of big-ish rocks in our front yard (and fortunately not the saguaro cactus that was about a foot away). As Ben said, "That will be a goodbye to remember!"

But while we were celebrating, we were too busy to be sad. We took a group picture, ate potluck food, and then all checked in as Lily (2 1/2), Audrey (1 1/2) and Elliott (11 months) competed for airtime. Then came the White Elephant. Everyone had brought an item, so everyone, including Lily and Audrey, got a number, and the games began. The most popular item was a pair of books, one a Tucson hiking guide and another a book on desert gardening, which were stolen the maximum 3 times. Hale ended up with the big box, with two tray tables and a giant stuffed bear inside, although Lily ended up going home with the bear, who will likely be her pillow on the cross-country trip to come. And Paul ended up with the "classic" white elephant gift, a Christmas Yoda (see picture).

As we gathered outside to say our goodbyes, Lily discovered that when she cupped her hands around a colored Christmas light bulb on our porch, her hand turned green or blue or whatever color the light was. She loved this and kept doing it, causing Audrey to start running from light to light, cupping her hands around each bulb, just like Lily. It was a sweet moment of them playing together - something to remember as we go our separate ways.

So as we start this Christmas week, Godspeed, Ben, Gretchen and Lily, and know you will always have a place here in our hearts and our homes in Tucson!

The 17+ months update

2009-12-06T14:34:00.000-08:00

Wow, I haven't posted in a while. I don't know what happened to October, but November got away from me because of job applications. The first weekend of November Paul went up to Carefree, Arizona (Phoenix-ish) for an art show. Since it was only about a 2 hour drive, Audrey and I went up to support him, and to see what doing an art show with a toddler would really be like. We thought she might be bored, but she really loved it - lots of people to charm, and she thought the whole show area was a big game of "chase Audrey." She would walk away from Paul's booth, then turn around and smile to see if one of us was following her, and then she's scoot a few more feet away, merrily walking in front of show visitors and their babies and dogs. Though I didn't get any pictures of her at the show, I did take this one of her eating breakfast at the pancake house one morning before we went out to sell some art.

After we returned from the show, I was buried in job applications and presentation preparation for a few weeks, and then we headed to Virginia on Nov 25 for Thanksgiving and, for me, a trip up to Philadelphia for the AAA meeting the next week. Audrey has been enjoying hanging out with Nana and Poppa (and she can now say both of those names) running them ragged by being in constant motion and making most of her desires known with her still somewhat limited vocabulary. Although many of her words sound alike (dog and duck both sound kind of like "doh") she often uses a sign to distinguish which word she means. She also has some words that she exclusively says (like "plane," that we don't know the sign for) and others she exclusively signs (like "cereal," apple" and "signing"). Though she's enjoyed being the center of attention as the only grandchild on this side, she also had fun playing with her cousin Owen, about 8 months older,one day after Thanksgiving, and all the Guilford Avenue roommate's kids a couple of days later (she is the youngest of a 6-kid group, the oldest being 5 1/2 and the closest to her age being 3 months older).

One of the funniest moments of this trip to my parents' house was that they bought her a little kid cell phone that makes noise when you press the buttons, and also, if you close the phone, it waits about 5 seconds and then rings. Audrey was attempting to wave bye-bye and leave the room (one of her favorite things to do, followed by a re-appearance a few seconds later) but every time she closed the phone and said bye bye to us, the phone would ring. The first couple of times, she answered it, but after about four times, with all of us laughing as she got more and more put out, she handed the open phone to Paul and then successfully left the room.

The Tao of Bei: Linguistic Development a la Audrey

2009-09-05T20:50:00.001-07:00

Anal PhD mom that I am, I was recently making a list of all the signs and words Audrey now uses at 14 months (at least 6 signs and 8 words, in case you were wondering) and I started thinking about one of her favorite multi-meaning words, namely "Bei" (or maybe "bay"). This is a word Audrey uses, with slightly different inflections and associated hand signals, to mean "belly button", "baby", "bird", "cat" and "dog."

If it means belly button or baby, she points at the item in question (typically real babies but sometimes her baby doll). If it means bird, she makes a hand signal that looks a little like the sign for "bird." For cat, she uses a sign that looks a bit like "cat." For dog (which can be prompted by real dogs or our neighbor's dogs barking) she doesn't use the American Sign Language sign for dog, but instead a hand motion that looks a little like summoning a dog.

She is also experimenting with stringing words together. Her longest phrase so far has been 4 words ("No, mom, no, mine!" when I closed the refrigerator door before she was finished positioning her water bottle appropriately inside) and she's also signed a two-word phrase ("more signing" when I turned off the Signing Time DVD)

Audrey's first road trip

2009-08-21T15:53:00.000-07:00

So we have finally taken the plunge and gone on a long-overdue trip to San Diego. This is a seven-hour drive for us, pretty easy and boring. BUT Audrey has never been in the car for longer than it takes to drive to Oracle (or thereabouts, for Jessica and Sean's wedding) We tried to be cunning and leave just in time for her morning nap, but she saw right through us. She refused to sleep, trying to figure out what we were doing and where we could possibly be going that took more than an hour.

After the first hour I moved to the back seat but still couldn't convince her to go to sleep. Finally as we approached Yuma (and lunch at Subway) a little after noon, she fell asleep. But as soon as we carried her into the restaurant, she woke up. This enabled her to fully participate in the ritual eating-of-food-that-is-not-good-for-you of road trips.

By my estimation, here is what Audrey ate yesterday, in addition to some milk...

about 10 french fries

a sandwich bag of grapes

a small container of "dry snacks" - graham crackers, goldfish, cheerios and yogurt melts

chocolate milk and bites of chocolate chip and white chocolate macadamia cookies

bites of turkey, bread, black olives and apple

bites of hamburger, veggie burger, more french fries and an onion ring

bites of ice cream from a root beer float

After lunch Audrey stayed awake the whole time until we got to San Diego around 5 pm, and then through dinner and playing at the park after dinner. She was tired but didn't want to go to sleep by herself in a strange pack and play in a strange room, so she stayed up until 9:30 before finally falling asleep!

Memorandum of Understanding

2009-08-07T20:39:00.000-07:00

I am amazed at what Audrey understands. She is 13 months and one week old and I talk to her a lot, but still. Just today she was able to come down ten stairs at my friend Jenne's house by herself because I reminded her to sit down and then put her feet down on the lower step. No physical guidance, just talking her through it. And tonight she spit out some cheese on the floor, then continued on with her activities. I said "Where's your cheese? Can you give it to me?" and she stopped doing what she was doing, went over and picked up the cheese and handed it to me. Also today, she was heading toward the above-mentioned stairs for the tenth time, and I was able to distract her by asking her to pick up a toy and bring it to me. Which she did, and by then she had forgotten that she was going to try to go up the stairs.

On a related note, if asked, she can point out her belly, her nose, and sometimes her toes. I don't know when kids are supposed to know these things, but I like to think she's advanced for her age. She also uses the word "lights" (this is probably her fourth consistently-used word after mama, dad, and ah-da (Audrey)) and also has a word that sounds suspiciously like "mine!" when something is taken away from her.

Sometimes I ask her to do something or find something, and I can tell I've used too many dependent clauses (or something) because she sort of stops and looks at me blankly. But most of the time she understands. Amazing!

Do Unto Others

2009-07-20T21:18:00.000-07:00

So Audrey has discovered the Golden Rule. Not that she grasps its philosophical implications, mind you, but she has discovered that some of the things we do to her, she can now do to us. It all started a couple of weeks ago (or probably earlier) when she found that if she didn't want to eat a cheerio or goldfish cracker, she could hold it up and whoever was watching her at the moment (Paul or I) would eat the cheerio or cracker out of her hand. She always gets a little smile on her face when she feeds us, a sort of self-satisfied "see, that's what it's like when you feed me!"

These behaviors have now expanded beyond feeding us to a sort of "bathroom valet" role. In order to keep her interested in using the potty, we've started reading to her and allowing her to look at books as she sits there. She does sit there longer, and the books do hold her attention. But now she has a potty-book link in her mind. So as she follows us into the bathroom when we use it, she inevitably brings over one of her books for us to read on the "big potty." And today I asked her if she would close the door so I could have some privacy (well, quasi-privacy, with the one-year-old still in the bathroom), so she closed the door. She's very solicitous - "Are you comfortable, mommy? Can I get you anything else?" I half-expect her to one day hold out her tiny hand and ask for a tip as I walk out of the bathroom. But for right now she just does it out of the goodness of her heart, and a fondness for the Golden Rule.

Happy First Birthday, Audrey!

2009-06-30T10:28:00.000-07:00

Audrey is one today. Today at 1:09 pm, pacific time, to be exact. I will probably be at mom-baby group at that time, although our group days may be numbered because most of the babies are so much younger and Audrey's favorite thing to do is to dash off into nearby rooms where she is not allowed to go, meaning that I spend the whole group chasing her down. She is now a full-fledged toddler, though she still looks too tiny to be walking around and getting into things.

Motor-skill wise, walking is the big thing. She still scoots across the floor when she wants to move fast but she walks well and only starts tripping and falling when she's tired. She can climb stairs (although getting down is more challenging) and can go down small slides at the park by herself. Verbally, she's making lots of sound that might be words, but they're still in "baby", so we don't understand most of it. Sometimes she gets frustrated because she'll walk up to me and say something like "Bob" and I won't respond, so she says, louder, like maybe I'll understand her if she speaks up, "BOB!" Socially, she's still the same social butterfly. She feels it's her job to greet everyone and make them feel welcome. She waves and smiles. For all I know she's saying "Hi, my name is Audrey, what's yours?"

Her sleeping is getting a little better, she still wakes up a couple of times a night but only eats once. We've run into a few people who said 13 months or so was the magic "sleeping through the night" age, but we're still dubious since people have been telling us since 6 months that she's supposed to be sleeping through the night. Oh well. She's napping now but may be up soon - I think I hear her moving in the crib on the other side of the wall. Happy Birthday, Audrey!

First Conversation with Audrey

2009-06-15T20:40:00.000-07:00

So today, Audrey and I had our first two-way conversation. She is now 11 1/2 months old, and has a few words that are intelligible, at least to Paul and I. She says Da and Dada for Paul, Mei-mei and sometimes ma-ma for me, and Ah-da for herself. Also sometimes "up" and "eat." Today at lunch, however, I was feeding her turkey and vegetables, which she did not want. She showed me she did not want them by trying to sweep them off her tray onto the ground. I said to her, "Okay, so you don't want your turkey and vegetables, what do you want to eat?" And she looked right at me and signed "milk."

She is now also walking about 90% of her movement time, as this 10-second video clip shows...

Mother's Day

2009-05-10T09:54:00.000-07:00

It started out as a typical day - Audrey is teething, so she had been up it felt like every 20 minutes last night, and she woke up for good at 4:30 am. After some grumbling on both of our parts and a valiant attempt to put her back to sleep by Paul (he had her all the way asleep in his arms but she woke up as soon as her head touched the crib mattress), we got up. It was only 5:30, too early to even go get a bagel. So, we did what any sane, sleep-deprived parents and baby might do...ate a banana apiece (even Audrey had a bite of mine, a big concession since she dislikes bananas) and walked to the playground.

I've been going to the playground with Audrey in the morning after breakfast, and it's nice at 7:30 am or so - still cool, hardly anyone there, so I wanted to show Paul her new playground skills. So the three of us walked up stairs, slid down slides, and Audrey showed Paul her "crawling-through-the-tunnel" abilities - truly an independent skill since the tunnel is too small for mommy or daddy to fit through...

After playtime, we came back to the house and Audrey went down for a nap (playing with mom AND dad is exhausting!) and Paul made me vanilla and cinnamon waffles with berries and powdered sugar. After eating two and reading the front page of the paper, we decided to go back to sleep. As I write this, Paul and Audrey are both still sleeping - Audrey's going on 2 1/2 hours, Paul on 2...I was able to get back to sleep for about 20 minutes, but then I was up. I'm trying not to do anything chore-like (wash dishes, fold laundry, etc.) because I figure, as the Family Circus cartoon so aptly pointed out this morning, how many chances do I have NOT to do those things?) Anyway, despite the veneer of tiredness, a nice mother's day so far!

Picnic at the Park

2009-04-28T20:58:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to say that in the past few weeks Paul and I have been trying to go over to our local park with Audrey for a picnic dinner at least once a week and hope to keep doing this until it gets too hot in the evening to sit outside.

We take our towel and pack an easy dinner - usually tacos - and just go sit in the grass. The park is nice because people are almost always there to have a good time -to spend time with their family, play with their dog in the dog park, celebrate a birthday or some other occasion...only on rare occasion have we seen people having some sort of negative interaction in the park. And there is plenty of grass (well, relatively, this is Tucson) and plenty of trees.

Audrey loves it because she can make a big mess and it doesn't matter. Tonight she grabbed some of the beans for the tacos and stuffed maybe 8 in her mouth at once. She lost a bunch of them when she started chewing but then picked them up and ate them again. She also got into (literally) her sweet potatoes and carrots, and then finished up with two whole strawberries and a whole grape. I took pictures but deleted them because it looked like she was bleeding as the strawberry juice dripped down her arm. So instead you get a picture of her commandeering the avocado before we opened the container!

Audrey, 9 months

2009-04-11T11:31:00.000-07:00

So I feel perhaps that I'm part of a new trend here. Instead of filling out the traditional baby book for Audrey, instead I (and other parents who blog about their kids) will have the "Baby Blog," an intermittent recording of baby's accomplishments, archived on the Blogspot server, at least until Blogspot goes out of business or otherwise tells bloggers they need to move their content somewhere else.

Audrey is now a little over 9 months and her development is proceeding apace. She can do three signs in conjunction with appropriate activities (milk, potty, and more) although her use of "more" has dropped off rapidly since grandma Mary left and she now has only an audience of mommy at meals. She also responds to commands - she pulled the pig's tail in a barnyard book when asked on three separate occasions for me, grandma, and grandpa. This also has more practical applications - when asked, she can often sit back in her highchair to make it easier for me to feed her, or sit up/back on the potty so she doesn't get so engrossed in the bathroom linoleum that she falls off the potty onto her nose. She has also started pointing, which can help some with communication too - she can point in a direction she wants to go, although she's not quite to the stage where she can point for "I'd like some toast rather than the apples."

Motor-skill wise, she is walking well with support - one of her favorite games is to hold daddy's hands (or if she's feeling brave, just one hand, using the other to grasp the wall or furniture) and walk around the house. Her balance is good and she can "cruise" along furniture, though she still takes the occasional tumble. She has also started "scooting." I wouldn't even call it crawling, and I'll have to get a video of it - basically, from seated, she walks her hands forward so she is up on her hands and feet and scoots forward a couple of inches and sits down again. It's not very efficient but she can cover a few feet when motivated. The big thing though is that she can now go from her belly up to a seated position. She doesn't like to do it, since it's a lot of work, but now she is no longer stuck on her belly when she starts to scoot/crawl and doesn't quite make it.

I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of for the moment!

Jessica's wedding

2009-03-23T14:09:00.000-07:00

Departing from the usual Audrey musings, I want to tell you about Jessica and Sean's wedding that Paul, Audrey and I attended last Saturday. It was held at the beautiful Triangle L Ranch in Oracle, Arizona, about an hour north of Tucson. Paul and I agreed that it was the best wedding we'd been to in some time, despite the fact that we knew almost no one there except the bride and groom.

Their wedding reminded me:

That you don't need a lot of words to have a lot of meaning

That potlucks mean fabulous food if you move in the "good potluck" circles

That walking along a path illuminated only by a string of white lights is simultaneously romantic to adults and magical to babies

That carrot cake by committee is the best carrot cake ever

That Audrey loves a party

That sometimes staging a picture gets you a good one

Jessica and Sean were going to formally (at least semi-formally) cut the "display" cake but everyone was dancing so they just decided to cut into it and let people eat between dances. I saw them after they had cut about two pieces and said "You're not going to cut the cake? How about cutting it for me and I'll take pictures?" So they said OK and I took a picture of them "cutting" the cake they'd already cut. They didn't feed each other cake, but one of the pictures of Sean eating cake looks like Jessica just fed him a piece and it's one of my favorite pictures from the wedding!

This one is about the potty

2009-03-17T11:36:00.000-07:00

So if you're not into reading potty stories, don't read further. To respect Audrey's privacy, no photo illustraton is available.

So as Audrey nears 9 months, there are many things she can do. Her grasping is getting better, she's still working avidly on crawling, and is considering bagging the whole thing and moving right to walking. She is strong enough to stand for a while now, and working on her stability so she can simultaneously hold onto the edge of the coffee table and pull all the magazines and coasters off of it.

But the potty - a couple of weeks ago, two moms at our mom & baby group talked about elimination communication, or EC. This is like early potty training, where you look for cues from the child, and give them "potty opportunities" or "pottytunities" as I have been calling them (I think this is what the main EC book calls them). There is no pressure to train completely, the idea is just to keep kids in touch with their bodies and save yourself a few diaper changes too. At group, both moms had kids who were just a few weeks older than Audrey, and had been doing this with them since 3 or 4 months. Both kids had small potties they could now sit on (before they can sit, you hold them over or stand them in the sink). They say EC works best if the kids wear cloth diapers, so they can tell immediately when they are wet or dirty. But Audrey is in disposable diapers, and we're probably not inclined to change this plan. Despite this, the "stay in touch with your body" message made sense to me.

So I bought a little white potty (Audrey chose this color over hot pink). I had noticed that in the morning, whenever I changed Audrey's overnight - and pee-filled - diaper, I would go to wash my hands after, and 9 times out of 10, she would have pooped in the new diaper by the time I got back. So the morning after I bought the potty, I went in to wash my hands and took Audrey with me and sat her on the potty. I washed my hands, came back and made the cuing sound (pssss) and let Audrey hang out on the potty, exploring her new surroundings for a few minutes. I finally decided she wasn't going to do anything, but when I helped her off the potty, she had pooped! First time sitting on the potty!

After that, I put her on the potty at least a few times a day, most days. Sometimes she didn't do anything, but often she did. She may less than 9 months old, but she got the idea of the potty pretty quickly. So we're nowhere near the "diaper-free baby" but I have avoided changing some poopy diapers, which is always a plus. And I like to think Audrey is becoming more aware of her body. Maybe someday soon, she'll say "pa-pa" for potty (don't worry, Paul is da-da :-) and we can go for a pottytunity on her say-so.

The anti-crying-it-out sleep plan

2009-02-25T13:44:00.000-08:00

So Audrey is almost 8 months old now, and has been going through an extended phase (since just before 6 months) where she has wanted to eat at least every 3 hours at night, sometimes much more than that. This started off because we went to see my parents over the holidays, and then went on to a family reunion in California. Both of these situations promoted a lot of "Audrey in bed with us" because she was just starting separation anxiety and we were in strange places, so it was easier for all if she slept with us. After we returned to Tucson, we worked on getting her back into her crib for the night, but she resisted, and then I got sick, meaning I didn't want to be getting up multiple times in the night to feed her, and so we were back to square one.

A little more than a week ago we decided to try a quasi crying-it-out plan - she would be in bed with us, but after eating, mom's restaurant would close down and she would have to sleep. This worked for a night or two, but then she wised up and just started crying for long periods. Like pretty much 3 hours straight one night. We couldn't stand it. So goodbye "cry-it-out-in-bed."

Last Friday, we decided to try something new, what I'm calling the tag-team plan. How it works is this: since she's been used to eating mostly all night, we don't want to cut her off completely (even though she can probably make it through the night without eating, as evidenced by "many other babies" everyone is always telling us about). Anyway, I decided I can handle 2 feedings, one at midnight (or later) and one at 4 am (or later) after we put her to bed (usually averaging around 8 pm). The tag-team part is that if, after I put her down at 8 pm, she wakes up anytime before midnight, Paul is on duty. He will go in and calm her down, walk with her (if he has energy), rock with her, and ultimately put her down and hold her hand until she goes to sleep. I then sleep as much as I can from 8:30/9:00 pm to midnight-ish, and then I feed her the first time when she wakes up after 12 (she tends to prefer 12:30 am). Then if she wakes up between the end of that feeding and 4 am-ish, I perform the same walk-rock-hand-holding maneuvers that Paul did before 12. Then if she wakes up after 4 am (give or take, I am not super-stickler about this and will feed her at 3:45 or whatever) she gets another feeding, hopefully to last her until at least 6 am.

So far it is working well. There is definitely less crying, especially after the first couple nights when she woke up quite a bit and stayed awake for longer than 20-30 minutes (the duration of a feeding or a quick-ish settling down). Since we are generally holding her when she cries, it is much easier to settle her down vs. having her in the crib crying and getting more and more worked up. Because neither of us is "on" all night, we are able to get more sleep - I might wake up at 11 if I hear her cry and Paul doesn't, but then he'll go settle her down and I can go back to sleep.

Our hope is that we can work down to one or no feedings overnight, and Audrey seems to be working toward the one-feeding goal too. The other night she woke up just once, at 2:30, to eat, so we'll see how it continues to go. Paul and I decided that "consistency is key" - we both try to do the same things to settle her down, and we follow the same tag-team plan so she knows who she's getting based on when she wakes up. The big challenge on the horizon will be Paul and I going on our belated "Valentines date" on Saturday - we'll see what effect that has, although it may not be too bad since it might just delay her bedtime (or mean she gets a "bonus" feeding when we get home at 9:30 or 10 pm). Keep your fingers crossed for the continued success of the tag team and Audrey's continued cooperation with our efforts!

Renewing Vows and Unanswerable Questions

2009-02-20T08:41:00.000-08:00

Just to be clear, the two parts of today's title are not related - I just have two short topics I am thinking about so I figured I'd put them in one entry.

On Valentines Day, Paul and I renewed our wedding vows while holding Audrey, who was content to try to dismantle the two roses tied together with ribbon that they had given us. The renewal ceremony was held at a Lutheran church on the southeast side, and most of the people participating were from that church, but a few, like us, had read about the ceremony in the paper on Thursday under "alternative things to do for Valentines Day" and called the church office on Friday to RSVP.

The service was at 2 pm, and Paul's story is that he got so frustrated with me complaining that I had nothing to wear (that fit, anyway) around 11:30 am that he took Audrey and sent me out to buy something , anything that I felt looked decent and not to come back until I had something. It took me almost 2 hours but I managed to get a black skirt. I couldn't even find a whole outfit. But I put the skirt together with a shirt I already had, fed Audrey, and we got in the car and went to the service, making it just in time.

My story is that although we made it to the service, I forgot my camera so we have no pictures of this event. We ended up waiting a bit anyway once we got there because they were waiting for one more couple who had RSVPed. The service was nice although I did have to get up and walk around with Audrey when the pastor made his remarks - a sort of mini-sermon, but still too long for Audrey to sit through. After several readings and the remarks, we got up to renew our vows. The church was octagonal, and had an octagonal alter rail around the central altar, so we spread out around the alter, facing our partners. There were 13 couples, and the pastor had specifically admonished us that we were to say our vows to our current partner and not to someone we happened to be standing next to as we circled the alter. One couple had been married 50 years that day, so they stood up on the alter with the pastor and he read the vows for them. The men went first, with the pastor saying "I, Don" which Paul quickly changed to "I, Paul" then..."take you, Roberta" to which Paul promptly repeated "take you, Roberta" I started laughing as Paul pressed on, repeating the vows and slipping in "Kay" in a few spots so he could assure me that he was renewing his vows with me, and was not in fact marrying Roberta.

After the service the ladies of the church had made a variety of valentines cakes - one looked like a mini wedding cake but others were heart-shaped with jam and the best one, a low-sugar chocolate cake. They were all very tasty, and people admired Audrey who of course put on her most charming looks for them. As I told Paul, I wanted to renew our vows because it was a sentimental thing to do on Valentines day, but also because I knew there would be a story. Or in this case, at least two.

Now, to close with the unanswerable questions. There are two, right now. One is "How's your dissertation going?" and the other is "Is Audrey sleeping through the night?" The short answers are "Slowly" and "No" and I don't really want to get into either!

Something New Every Day

2009-02-13T15:07:00.000-08:00

So I was going to write an entry about the "migrating insomnia" - no, not insomnia related to migration, since we've been happily ensconced in Tucson while much of the East coast has had bad weather. But migrating in the sense that first Paul couldn't sleep, then Audrey couldn't sleep, and finally I couldn't sleep. It lasted 1-2 nights for all of us but has thankfully finally abated.

So instead I'll write the Audrey update. Lots has been happening. She still can't crawl or walk, but she can use her stomach muscles to pull herself up to sitting with a minimum of help and then push up on her legs to stand (again, with minimal help). She can hang onto a table or something briefly although she's really not steady enough to stand there by herself. She's sitting very well, and we practiced today with sitting in the bath (tricky because it's slippery in there). She has her two bottom teeth now - their advent put a slight damper on her usually sunny disposition, but she's better now. She will now "reach up" for us when she is sitting or lying down to be picked up, and her grasping is getting better continually - she's working right now on holding a cheerio between her thumb and forefinger to eat it - she's not quite there, but has the right idea. Speaking of eating, she has tried lots of foods, she even gamely ate some pureed broccoli last night. We have a little food mill so we usually try her with whatever vegetable or fruit we're eating. So far she's nixed kiwi (too tart!) but will eat at least a little of many other things. She can also feed herself (sort of) a cracker or piece of pita. More later...she's awake now to work on even more things!

Um, Excuse Me?

2009-02-04T10:30:00.000-08:00

So today Audrey suffered her first public embarrassment. We were at the Sleep Lab meeting, a regular (and very Audrey-friendly) event. The members of the lab were talking about some issue on which there was a difference of opinion, and Dick, the professor who heads the lab, had just finished a statement on the topic when Audrey, standing on my lap right next to him, farted loudly. A hush fell over the room and Dick looked at Audrey and said "So that's what you think about that, eh?" The other grad students and visitors to the meeting chuckled, and Audrey took one look at Dick and started to cry. I stood up and tried to reassure her everything was fine (while simultaneously chuckling to myself about this turn of events). Audrey, who had quieted down, looked back at Dick, who said "All I said was, was that your opinion?" and then Audrey burst into a fresh set of tears. I took her outside to calm her down, and came back for the end of the meeting, during which she was looking at Dick dubiously. There are, of course, no pictures of this event, so this is the best recent one I have of Audrey looking vaguely dubious.

Jumper

2009-01-23T13:30:00.000-08:00

Last week or so, Grammie Pat brought over a Johnny Jump-Up - a jumper that you clip onto the doorframe. She figured Audrey would love it, since she loves to "fly" and jump with us. Plus she's keen to crawl and/or walk and can't do either yet. She wasn't so excited about the jumper at first, but she's warming up to it - at least enough to pose for photos!

Making Friends

2009-01-21T10:37:00.000-08:00

At six and a half months, Audrey is now old enough to start making friends - or more precisely, she is old enough to remember that she's seen some of these babies before. She and Gavin have been "friends" since about 8 weeks.

Other friends are newer - at the Birth Center mom's group that I go to on Tuesdays, there are three little girls (including Audrey) who were all born within about a week of each other - Zarya is the oldest (by 3 days), then Audrey, then Casey, six or so days younger. Here she is with Casey - look for Zarya in future posts.

Blame it on the heat

2009-01-19T07:07:00.000-08:00

There are many things on which I may blame Audrey's tendancy to sleep for just a few hours during the night. Teething, growing, not having had enough milk, having too much vegetable at dinnertime, etc. One of the most perrenial, though, is temperature. I'm always thinking she might be too hot or too cold - we've been using sleep sacks (wearable balnkets) at night to keep her warm, but when she was teething she was running a low fever and seemed to be burning up in her sleep sack. So I stopped putting it on her for a few nights. Plus it had gotten warmer (no more temps in the 30's at night) so it didn't seem she needed it. Until last night when it seemed uncommonly cold. And she woke up every 2 hours and wanted to be cuddled up to me all night.

In the morning, Paul said we had forgotten to turn on the heat last night - it's warm during the day so we open the doors (and turn off the heat). We had grad group over last night so even as the evening temps dropped, out house with a dozen people in it remained a toasty 75 degrees. We even opened the windows. Then we closed everything up and went to bed. But we didn't turn the heat back on. So maybe that's why she was up so much...who knows!

Sleeping through the night

2009-01-17T16:27:00.001-08:00

Audrey and I went yesterday to have a playdate with Lauren and Gavin down in Sahuarita, and we started talking about sleep. Lauren said Gavin has now been sleeping approximately 12 hours at night, and she achieved this by a means she called "Every 15 minutes" but what I would call "cry it out." It's hard to argue with the results - 12 hours of time to sleep, plus spend some time with Paul or pursuing my own interests (actually reading a book? amazing!) seems very tempting.

But I am besieged with thoughts about all the "other" things that are going on. In addition to the thought of having to listen to Audrey cry for perhaps hours for four or five nights (the time Lauren said it took Gavin to adjust, although there's no telling how long it might take Audrey) I think, should we really be forcing self-soothing on her when she's growing? When she's teething? She's a pretty good self-soother (no losing your pacifier when it is two fingers on your left hand - always there!) and will sleep in her crib, but there are just some times that she adamantly does not want to be in the crib, she would rather be close to us (well, me, sorry Paul) to sleep.

So I don't know, though some of Paul's co-workers say we're "spoiling" her by going to her in the night and bringing her back to bed with us if she won't settle otherwise (or if I'm too tired to spend the time to try to get her back in the crib) I prefer to think we're raising a happy, secure child. Will Gavin, or other "cry it out" babies turn out insecure or be somehow otherwise lacking? Probably not, but I guess each set of parents just does what seems best to them at the time and no one knows the results until much later!

Getting Baptized

2009-01-14T18:33:00.000-08:00

So much has happened since I last wrote. If I was a more dedicated blogger, you would have heard about going to Alexandria for Christmas, including hanging out with great-grandma, and then going to the Stanley family reunion in Ventura, CA, where all the cousins but one (and there about 20 of them, 15 males and 5 females) made it to California for two days of hanging out. But the most recent event in Audrey's life was getting baptized on Sunday, January 11. This was also "Baptism of the Lord" Sunday in the liturgical calendar, so the rest of the congregation also got sprinkled to remind them of their baptism. But Audrey got the full "water-on-the-head" deal thanks to our pastor friends Ben and Gretchen. Grammie Pat Orzech made her dress, which is now the "heirloom baptismal gown" (well, at least it will be once I clean it). She actually seemed to like the fuss of getting in the dress, and especially of going down to hang out with the little kids at the children's sermon. They were all rubbing her head, like they were saying "welcome, Audrey!" and she was just loving it. The pictures I have are from after the baptism, in the church's cry room - not that she was crying, she just wanted to play and tends to want to compete with the pastor by "talking" during the sermon...So here is one of her hamming it up - after all this, and a few more pictures after church, we took her out of her gown to ride home and she fell asleep in the car seat and slept through most of the celebration lunch.

Things I Wish I Had Pictures Of

2008-12-17T13:58:00.000-08:00

Church Ladies: I am a member of a singing group at church called the "Church Ladies" (we toyed with the idea of calling ourselves the "Holy Cows" but thought this might offend some members of the group). Not only are we about music, we are also about wardrobe. Our wardrobe mistress, Gwynn, recently returned to the group after undergoing chemotherapy. Her hair is back, and her wardrobe aplomb was never gone. For this holiday performance last Sunday, she suggested that we wear Christmas-ball earrings. I said, sure, I'll wear those, thinking they would be actual earrings. But oh no, they were actual Christmas balls, of the kind that would be at home on a full-size tree. Red, silver, green, gold - each church lady took ornament hooks and threaded them through her ears and hung a pair of matching ornaments on them. If you moved your head too fast, you got a bit of whiplash. But we were festive. Yes we were. And the singing wasn't bad either.

Scenes from the Park: When it was nice weather - really, up until this week - I went for a daily walk with Audrey. Typically, we walked across the street to the park and looked at the ducks (a big hit), or smelled the roses (she didn't get it) or looked at the dogs in the dog park (very exciting). I don't take anything with me, just my keys, and Audrey in the carrier. So I've missed a few photo opportunities. Including

Meeting another baby named Audrey - she was 8 months old and playing at the playground with her parents and older sister.

Walking away from the dog park and seeing a woman coming toward it with her dog - I said to Audrey, "Look, a dog!" and as the women passed me, she said to the dog, "Look, a baby!" in the same tone of voice.

Audrey on the baby swing - which is HUGE for her, but she leans up against the front and it must feel like the carrier (it hits her in about the same spot on the chest). I squat in front of the swing and hold her hands and push her back and pull her forward, and she just smiles real big!

White Elephant

2008-12-08T14:05:00.001-08:00

No, not another trip to the zoo. I'm talking about Grad Group's annual White Elephant gift exchange, which was held yesterday at the Larson-Wolbrink's home. Although Audrey was in attendance, the clear stars of the show yesterday were Lily Larson-Wolbrink (17 months) and Allegro (2 years), our friend Liz's new guide dog. The two of them together were the epitome of cute, Lily with her boundless energy and bouncy curls, and Allegro, a big yellow lab puppy who was "off duty" for the evening so we could pet him and interact with him.

The fun thing about White Elephant, beyond watching Lily and Allegro explore new levels of cuteness, was seeing what people brought - Paul and I went home with a plastic U of A mug, a woman's hat and necklace, a 4-bottle wine rack, and a insel garland decorated with shiny paper ornaments. But we got rid of four items we have had two of for some time, including Norah Jones and Louis Prima CDs, the Shel Silverstein book Runny Babbit, and a "Touch and Feel Farm" book.

We also got rid of a musical Happy Birthday bag that has slowly become the bane of my existance. Let me explain - somewhere along the line, one of us got a birthday present in this bag, which plays Happy Birthday and lights up when a corner of it is pressed. Due to limited storage space, we keep our wrapping paper in a storage box under our bed, but it turns out that this bag is a mite sensitive. So as I have been getting up at 3:30 AM to go feed the baby, it was not uncommon to have musical accompinament to this event - a tinny "Happy Birthday" that went of as I got out of bed and continued to play as I crossed the hall to Audrey's room.

Since I hit upon the idea of getting rid of it at the White Elephant, the bag became even more insistent. As we loaded it into the car for the rise to the Larson-Wolbrink's, it went off three times, as if to say "No! Don't get rid of me! You will miss this tinny "Happy Birthday!" But we don't. Enjoy it, Stephanie, and don't be afraid to regift!

Playdate with Gavin

2008-12-02T19:21:00.000-08:00

Yesterday Gavin (Audrey's "twin") and his mom Lauren drove up from Sahuarita to have a playdate. Because I'd had such a good time at the zoo a couple of Mondays ago, I suggested we go there. It was more crowded this Monday, but a lot of the animals were still pretty visible and we had a good time. Audrey rode in her front carrier again, and Gavin was in his stroller. When we went up to the lion enclosure, the lion was sitting in the middle of his space, looking away from us. I walked up to the glass with Audrey as I had before, and he started looking over at us. Within a few minutes, the lion got up and walked directly toward us, walking around the pool and coming right up to the glass like last time. This time, instead of just mushing his nose against the glass, he pawed the glass a couple of times and then opened his mouth two or three times to show us his menacing teeth (although because he is a very elderly lion, the teeth were somewhat broken off and dull, so not all that menacing). Lauren held Gavin up and I snapped the picture.

After the zoo, we came back to the house and Audrey and Gavin ate and then played on the floor. Of course, they were most interested in the other one's toys, so we had a "plate of spaghetti" moment with the toy I call chewie ball - it's one of Audrey's favorites but Gavin had a serious interest in it too.

I was trying to get some "look how they've grown" pictures to compare to the earlier set of photos I took of Audrey and Gavin at breastfeeding support group, but the two of them didn't really seem to be playing on the same page this time - the best I could get was both babies on their backs but facing in different directions!

Monday at the Zoo

2008-11-17T16:51:00.000-08:00

No, this does not refer to the crazy conditions in our house today. In fact, quite the opposite - Audrey has a bit of a cold so she's been napping a lot more than usual. But during her wake period this afternoon, we went over to our local zoo, which is located just across the street from our neighborhood. It was a beautiful day, with temperatures in the low 80's and a bit of a breeze. As a result, lots of animals were out. I think many are also fed about 2 pm, when we were there, so that helped too. Of course I did not bring my camera today (the otter picture is from an earlier zoo trip), but we saw:

An elephant drinking (she tried the pool water, where ducks were swimming, spit it out and then went to where the water was flowing into the pool and drank from that spigot) and then giving herself a dust bath

An ostrich complaining about something and a zebra coming over to find out what was going on

Giraffes eating up close to the fence

Tortoises eating and walking around

The three gibbons right up at the front of their cage, interacting with visitors

Two otters performing just for Audrey and I

And finally, the lion, grooming himself around three feet from the glass, who, on seeing Audrey and I, walked around a small pool, came right up to the glass and squished his nose against it, approximately 3 inches from us!

All in all it was a great trip to the zoo, although I must admit to being a little panicked when the lion approached us. Even though I knew he couldn't get us, it seemed he was eyeing Audrey as a snack...or maybe he's just never seen a baby in a front carrier before.

Four Generations

2008-11-14T16:22:00.000-08:00

During Audrey's first trip back East, we attended my cousin Erin's wedding. The big event for us, though (not to downplay Erin and Jamie's wedding, it was beautiful) was that Audrey got to meet her great-grandmother, Marguerite Pyles, for the first time. I was hoping Audrey would see her great-grandma and giver her one of her 1000-watt smiles, but of course, my grandma is a stranger to Audrey and she takes a while to warm up to people she doesn't know, despite being a very friendly and gregarious baby. She did get to spend a little time with her at the wedding reception, though, and was privy to some smiles, although I'm sure Audrey would have been happier in a slightly less noisy and chaotic situation. The wedding photographer took a couple of pictures of grandma holding Audrey and also one of the "four generations" (great-grandma Marguerite, grandma Mary, mom Kay and baby Audrey) with the newlyweds. We also took a few candid pictures of the four of us outside the reception location, so the best one of those is here. I'm sure Audrey won't remember her first meeting with great-grandma, but I'm sure great-grandma will remember it!

Mother (and Father) and Child Reunion

2008-11-10T20:53:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we had our reunion for our Bradley (childbirth) classes. Having spent 10 weeks together between April and June, and watched each other grow ever-more pregnant, the reunion gave us the opportunity to meet up again and see how everyone turned out. At 4 months, Audrey was one of the oldest babies - since the classes went until early June, the first babies were born mid-June and the last ones were born in early September. Not everyone came, of course, but we had a good time eating potluck food and taking many pictures of the babies. Here is one of the best ones - that's Charlie, Audrey and Abigail!

Political Baby

2008-11-07T15:43:00.000-08:00

So she's not political in the "election was Nov 4" sense, although I must admit I'm happy that President Obama is the first president she might remember, rather than President McCain. I did watch his concession speech, however, and came away thinking what a class act he is. Audrey's politics, however, have more to do with her decorated onesies. Before she was born, our friend Gretchen made her a onesie that says, on the front, "Eat Local Food" and on the back, "It Works for Me." I had to snap a picture because one day she was lying on her playmat, next to Sleepy Bunny (who, though he is a stuffed animal, has played many roles, from infant head support to nursing pillow in his brief tenure with us). She reached out and grabbed Sleepy Bunny's foot and was poised to take a bit out of it. Not quite the "local food" the onesie-maker intended, but funny.

Travels With Audrey

2008-11-05T11:34:00.000-08:00

So I have not blogged in a while, partially because I was traveling for a couple of weeks, back East to VA/MD and then out West to San Diego. These were my first trips with Audrey (who was 3 1/2 months old when we left on our first trip). It was a new experience both because I was now "the woman with the baby" on the plane (fortunately, not "the woman with the screaming baby") and also because it was sort of solo parenting time. My parents met me at both ends of the country, and helped with Audrey a lot, but it wasn't quite the same as having Paul there - a little less of a tag team effect. Anyway, Audrey did very well with flying. I've been telling people that if we'd had a direct flight, it would have been no problem at all - it was when we got to Chicago (on the way East) and Dallas (on the way back to Tucson) that she looked at me with this look that said "Hey, you mean we have to do this AGAIN?" But we did. And she did great, amusing herself by smiling at our plane-mates and developing a fascination for the water bottles I was inevitably toting around with us. She even tried to drink from my water bottle in the San Diego airport, grabbed it and held it and put the top to her mouth. Unfortunately for her (but probably fortunately for me, saving a clothing change), she didn't have the wherewithal to open the top first :-) Of course, some familiar "friends" (like Froggy) helped too. The picture is her at Chicago's O'Hare airport, prior to boarding the second flight going East!

Video Sensation

2008-10-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

So I recently took a few little videos with my camera. The taking of the videos was easy, but when I downloaded them the files were huge (50 MB for a 20-second video!). It took me a week or so, but finally I got on Paul's computer and used Windows Movie Maker to "refine" the movies, adding a title and transition, and most importantly, converting them into WMV files which were a LOT smaller than the AVI files. Then I sent them out - but unfortunately, both of the computers I watched them on had the sound turned off, so I didn't realize they had sound (and pretty silly sound, if I may say)of me saying "Audrey! Hey, Audrey!" and "Video of Audrey playing with a blanket" - nothing like stating the obvious :-) Anyway, now that I know how to shrink the files, I can make more interesting videos. Plus she's becoming more vocal too so maybe I can capture her "singing along" to Old MacDonald (she can say "E-I" and we're working on "E-I-E-I-O"). Watch this space for further developments.

Tag Blanket!

2008-09-24T09:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Joanna sent Audrey a new toy. She apologized for it being late (for Audrey's birth and for my birthday) but I think it's right on time, since Audrey recently learned to grab and even more recently has been trying to put things in her mouth. The tag blanket is perfect for both of those pursuits, and as you can see from the photo, she is enjoying it already!

Fashion Plate

2008-09-15T19:03:00.000-07:00

So Audrey hates putting on clothes if they have to go over her head, but she seems to really like "trying on" clothes. I put some piece of clothing over her to check how long/wide it is and to see if it might fit her now, and she flashes a huge smile. It always seems like she's saying "Look at how cute I am in THIS outfit, mom!" I didn't think I'd be able to get a picture of her smiling, but I did, so here she is "trying on" a green footed sleeper on Monday morning.

Leaps and Bounds

2008-09-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

So over the weekend, Audrey learned to grab things. Paul has been working with her, showing her that her hands can close around various little hanging toys that she has, but it wasn't until Saturday that things seemed to "click." Paul and I had noticed that Audrey was now bored in her infant carrier. Every time we put her in it, she would "read" the warning on the side of the carrier about 20 times (when she's able to talk, I won't be at all surprised if her first words are "Warning! Advertencia!" since the label, advising us not to put the infant seat in the front seat of the car, is in both English and Spanish). Anyway, Paul hung a giraffe toy from the carrier canopy, figuring she'd look at it.

While we were in the car on Saturday, trundling from party (Happy 15th birthday, Nick) to party (Happy get-together at Lauren, Niel and Gavin's!) I had pulled the canopy all the way down to keep the sun from beating down on Audrey as we drove. I was talking to Paul, and noticed that the giraffe's head (which was all I could see of him, as his body and legs were under the canopy with Audrey) kept moving. I lifted the canopy, and saw that Audrey had grabbed the giraffe's leg and was repeatedly pulling on it, causing the head to bob under the canopy and then re-appear in my view.

Once she mastered this skill with the giraffe, she was quick to try it out on her new toy, the take-along arch (thanks Erica, Sammy and Nick, I think this was a gift from you). Paul clipped it to the boppy, so she could rest and look at - or grab - the toys as she rested there. So that's the picture. Audrey is grabbing the turtle, who is supposed to play three songs, but I can only get him to play one (part of "Pop Goes the Weasel", I think). Audrey managed to hit it in such a way as to get it to play another song, but I have no idea how she did it...I have experimented with hitting the turtle in multiple ways (much to the amusement of Audrey AND Paul) and it either stays silent, mocking me, or plays "Pop Goes the Weasel"...c'est la vie.

Hanging with the Family

2008-09-05T14:44:00.000-07:00

So Friday was my birthday. In the morning, Paul talked to Audrey and told her it was mommy's birthday so she should be especially helpful and good all day. He also told her about the party we were having at 5:30 to eat ice cream cake with the Orzech family and some friends. It seems kind of crazy, but she acted like she really heard him. I gave her a bath, and she had no problem with it (previously there had been at least some screaming associated with baths). I fed her a bottle and she took to it right away instead of fussing. And when people came over at 5:30/6:00 pm, she happily hung out with family members and friends. After ice cream cake (chocolate cake and mint chocolate chip ice cream from Baskin Robbins...) ten of us went out for sushi at our favorite local sushi place (suggested by a vegan friend who went with us because she knew there were things she could eat there). Audrey hung out in her carrier, smiling at everyone, then ate a little when our food came (she likes to eat at the same time as me) and then fell asleep for the rest of the meal. Here she is hanging out with Aunt Jen at the ice cream cake party...

Separated at Birth

2008-08-28T15:27:00.000-07:00

A few weeks after she was born, I discovered that Audrey has a twin. Okay, so he's not really her twin, but one day at breastfeeding support group, I met Gavin and his mom Lauren. Gavin was born at Tucson Medical Center, like Audrey, on June 30th. Audrey was born at 1:09 pm, Gavin at about 2:30 pm. To add to the links, Lauren's birthday is Sept 22, the same date as my parents' wedding anniversary. It seems fated that we will be friends!

All or Nothing

2008-08-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

It seems like Audrey is an "all or nothing" girl. Maybe this is just a characteristic of all babies, I don't know. But it seems that she picks one activity and spends almost all of her day doing it. Some days it's eating. Those are very frustrating and tiring days for me, since I still harbor hopes of doing something besides feeding the baby. It doesn't have to be much, just a walk to the mailbox or getting on email briefly. But on those "feeding frenzy" days, those things don't really happen. Some days she sleeps. Like yesterday. Though I should enjoy this "free" time, and I kind of do, I am also thinking in the back of my mind "Is it okay for her to sleep this long during the day? Maybe I should wake her to feed her? Is she going to wake up at midnight and think it's morning? [Answers: Yes, I didn't, and She didn't.] Some days she's just awake. All day, practically, despite the fact that infants are supposed to get something like 10-14 hours of sleep per day. And I think, "What can I do with her to give her fodder for her developing brain?" Is it bad to let her stare at Headboard until she gets bored? Is it bad that I lie down next to her on the floor when she's on her playmat, and I almost fall asleep as she stares incessantly at the monkey? (she seems to like looking at other primates - her chimp friend Gregory, the monkey on her playmat, and of course Paul and I). I tried to read to her but she doesn't seem that interested - more interesting are outings where she gets to see other babies (I think this kid is an extrovert, despite having two introvert parents), so we've been going to some mom-baby groups. And trying to get out of the house at least once a day, even if it's just for a short errand. That's about it for today...back to baby care on this "awake" day!

The Many States of Audrey

2008-08-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

People always told me that as a parent, you can determine what your kids want (mainly) by their cries, even if those cries sound the same to an outsider. It doesn't seem to be 100% true, but I have noticed that Audrey has several "states" that don't really overlap. A sampling:

Happy Audrey: We get this one a lot, and we are glad of it. She has three or four different smiles/happy faces that she uses, mostly for Paul and I (and of course Headboard - see post #1) but increasingly, she will use them on strangers, especially baby-related strangers (other moms, women who are running various mom and baby groups). Today at mom-baby group she was smiling at the group leader for several minutes. She is also starting to branch out into noises - ah and awk and woo and a few cries that sound like a pterodactyl that I can't quite tell if they are happy or leading up to crying

Screaming Audrey: Don't like this one. It's not just crying, but full-out, turning purple, choking-on-her-own-cry screaming. Doesn't happen too often, and is usually fixable by nursing except for one night last week when it went on for 1.5 hours and was only cured by the resolution of her gastrointestinal problems

Crying Audrey: Ranges from the occasional cry when I am out of sight (hey mom, over here!) to a continual, mid-range cry that sounds like "lie, lie, lie." I try not to take this as a judgement on my parenting (example: Kay: "I'll be right there to feed you, Audrey, I just need to get a glass of water..." Audrey: Lie, lie, lie!)

Grumbly Audrey: Usually happens as she's waking up. Not crying per se, but little grumbling sounds that foreshadow crying if something is not changed. I actually like this state - I call her "grumbly baby" which has a nice ring to it ("Aw, grumbly baby...")

Silent Audrey: Sometimes means she is gearing up to cry, sometimes means she has her fist in her mouth and wants to eat, sometimes means she is resigned that whatever we are doing with her/showing her is kind of boring (if she even knows what boredom is) and sometimes is just a transition state - it could [hopefully] break into Happy Audrey as soon as she smiles at mommy or daddy

Holy War?

2008-08-18T13:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Paul and I were sitting, as new parents are wont to do, admiring our beautiful, intelligent baby as she leaned up against dad's knees and made faces at us. Mostly smiles, but some other faces too.

One of us had said something about church, which prompted me to say "Yeah, before we know it she'll be up singing in the children's choir at church" (or, more aptly, standing in front of the church with a bunch of other little kids, two of whom are actually singing and the rest of whom are A) scanning the crowd for mom and dad, B) having found mom and dad, waving wildly, C) looking like they are about to cry, or D)all three).

Paul agreed that she might be in the children's choir, because we will probably raise her Presbyterian. After all, Paul reasons, it is the church that I (and sometimes we) go to on a regular basis. By "a regular basis" I mean once a month or more...Paul is still adjusting to this whole "not going to church weekly is not a sin" element of the Protestant faith.

Paul teases me that I have something against the Catholic church, since I am so avowedly Presbyterian. In my defense, I point out that half my family and most of my friends who profess any religious preference are Catholic, but this does not seem to sway his view that I am somehow anti-Catholic.

I had to laugh, though, because as we were talking about church, Paul said to Audrey "Yes, you'll probably be Presbyterian but you could be Catholic, what do you think about that?" Audrey replied with a face I can only describe as "dubious." Too bad I didn't get a picture.

Arizona Girl

2008-08-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

So I am a product of the east coast, the mid-Atlantic states, to be exact. Yes, I was born in California but we moved back to Virginia when I was 3 months old, so I consider Fairfax, Virginia to be my "home town" when people ask. I moved to Tucson, Arizona in the summer of 2001, so I'm pretty used to it here, I like the Southwest and think that the "pros" of the Southwest (mountains, beautiful sunsets practically every day, cool desert animals and plants, beautiful weather in January, February, March, April, October and November) tend to outweigh the "cons" (can hit 110 in the shade in the summer).

Sometimes I think about our daughter growing up as an "Arizona girl" and how this is going to be different from my own childhood, particularly with regard to her relationship with the outdoors. In Virginia, the outdoors was pretty friendly. I mean, you had to watch out for some things like bees and other stinging insects, and it did get pretty hot and humid (and also cold, wet and.or snowy sometimes). But in Arizona, plants and animals are adapted for life in the desert, and this means they are not the friendliest of items. You can't go out in the side yard and play "Lost Girls" which, for my sister and I and our best friends Amy and Heather, entailed a lot of interaction with plants. We pulled moss and grass and sometimes leaves off bushes to be our "beds" and our "food" and whatever else we needed to "survive in the wilderness." I can't imagine doing this in Arizona. You can't really interact with a saguaro, or a prickly pear, or any other kind of cactus. Even trees like mesquite, which provide nice shade, often come with thorns.

We used to capture wayward turtles and keep them for a few days before returning them to Burke Lake. But out here, the nearest lake is about an hour away. And the kind of animals you run across commonly (mostly lizards and doves) tend to dart away and don't really lend themselves to being captured and observed for a day or two.

And then there's the sun...as a kid, I remember putting on sunscreen when we went to the beach. Maybe if we did some other "outdoors all day" activity. But out here, you have to learn early that you never leave home without your water, sunscreen and hat. I just bought Audrey her first floppy sun hat, designed to fit 0-3 months because the smallest sun hat anyone gave us was 6-18 months and we need one before then - although my mom did give her some infant sunglasses (see photo).

I'm sure Audrey will discover the outdoors and find some friendly bits even as she learns to avoid the plants and animals that have evolved sharp and/or poisonous desert defenses. And we'll just have to do a bit of traveling - up to Mt. Lemon, to Northern Arizona, and back East - so she can experience things like grass, deciduous trees and snow. I may be a transplant, but she will be a true Arizona girl.

Out and About With Audrey

2008-08-12T21:26:00.000-07:00

On Friday, I went to campus to try to get an "enrollment verification letter" from the Registrar's office. Any time I try to do anything within the bureaucracy of the University of Arizona, it always takes me longer then I expect. In this case, this was my third trip to the registrar's office to get this letter, because on the previous trips, something in my record was wrong or incomplete.

I was feeling pretty proud of myself because I got myself and Audrey out the door at 8:30 am and we parked and got to the Registrar's at 8:45...only to discover that the office was closed until 10 am for a staff meeting. I thought about going home at that point, and making my fourth trip back the next week, possibly when Paul or Pat was watching Audrey. But then I thought about the "Rookie Mom's Handbook," a little gem of a book given to me by my friend Skylar. Somewhere in the book, I had read (and I'm paraphrasing) - go out with your baby, because that's what people do, and moms are just people with children.

So I thought, what would I do if it were just me, no Audrey? Well, I would get a chai tea latte and go over to my department for an hour or so, and try to get a little work done. So I did. I got my chai tea latte, answered questions from curious onlookers about Audrey, and walked over to the Anthro department. I didn't end up getting work done, I nursed Audrey in our office instead, but it worked. I went back to the Registrar's after 10 am, and got my letter, and we went home.

A couple of really cute primates

2008-08-11T10:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this picture is actually a few weeks old (an eternity in Audrey-time) but it is so cute that I wanted to post it. To celebrate her birth, my friend and college roommate Andrea, who's a vet at the Oakland Zoo, sent Audrey a stuffed chimpanzee.

Although I'm not a primatologist, it is part of what I do (biological anthropology) and I have actually taught a class in primatology, so I'm pretty stringent (some might say annoying) about pointing out the difference between a monkey and an ape. So Audrey's "new friend" is definitely an ape, not a monkey. And in the photo, she's making her big smile, what I call the "chimpanzee play face" because chimps make this face - opening their mouth wide - to show that they want to play with you!

So Audrey and friend - who I've named Gregory - relate, one ape to another.

Baby's-eye view

2008-08-08T09:31:00.000-07:00

This morning Audrey was lying on our bed after being fed, staring at the window behind our headboard. At least I think it was the window. Given her fascination with Headboard (see previous post) it could be that she was communing with "Big Headboard." Who knows. Anyway, I got down at her level on the bed and tried to take a picture of what she could see. When I did that, I found myself looking at a very striking set of shadows created by the iron work outside our window - with the morning light coming from the east, the iron bars made three heart shapes against the illuminated green curtains. That piece of window looks a lot more interesting from a baby's-eye view, and if she hadn't been so enraptured by it, I would have missed it.

Audrey the Furniture Whisperer

2008-08-06T10:50:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here in the nursery with my fussy baby. Or, she was fussy until I put her on the changing table. Don't get me wrong, she really dislikes getting her diaper changed. But lying on the table...she loves it. We have a "Rail Rider" which for the uninitiated is a plastic tray with a waterproof pad in it that fits over the crib rails. So the Rail Rider puts the baby almost level with the object of her affection - the end of the crib, colloquially known in our house as "Headboard."

Audrey LOVES to "talk" to Headboard. Despite the fact that she is a mere 5 1/2 weeks old, she communicates with Headboard in every way she is able: she smiles, makes sounds, waves her arms, and kicks her legs, sometimes all at once, to convey to Headboard some mysterious content. We have tried to duplicate her view to see what she might be so excited about, but to no avail. Paul thought it might be the contrast between the crib slats (dark, then light from the window behind). But she seems just as excited about Headboard after dark, when that "contrast" explanation wouldn't hold. Plus she seems to be looking at the solid part of the headboard, not the slatted part, for all we can tell.

Headboard can keep Audrey occupied for 10 minutes - an eternity in baby time. He (or she, I suppose) can make her forget that before we came into the nursery, she was demanding to be fed (even though she just finished eating for 30+ minutes). One of Paul's theories about Headboard is that her guardian angel hangs out there, and that's who she's communicating with when we lie her on the changing table. I kind of like that explanation, and have taken to sometimes putting words in her mouth when she starts communing with Headboard. Like, "Oh, Headboard, it's been a rough morning - I wanted to eat all the time and mommy tired to only feed me every hour instead of every five minutes. And then I filled up my diaper and had to get my diaper AND my onesie changed! I think only you understand where I'm coming from, Headboard."

Sounds from Audrey - the last one sounded like "Whoo!" I think Headboard is expanding her "vocabulary" - and definitely strengthening her legs, since kicking her legs is a big part of talking to Headboard. She may be tiring of Headboard's company, since she's been "talking" the whole time I've been typing this. But who knows. Whether it's contrast/light patterns or her guardian angel, Headboard is special to Audrey, so viva Headboard!